The Crossing's LGBT Statement

The Crossing's LGBT Statement

I'll summarize for you; come worship with us, and certainly give us your tithe money, but we don't honor you as a human being in the slightest!  The play on words between Affirm and Accept is demeaning.  If you don't affirm a person for who they were created to be, something they have absolutely no choice in deciding, then you certainly don't accept them.  But hey, it's OK, we were onto your bullshit long ago.

Oops...The Crossing Church Did It Again

Another sad, yet all too familiar, story of people leaving The Crossing Church.  Please read the powerful words of Neil and Hannah and ask yourself some hard questions.  As they said, "Don’t just take our word for it. Do some investigation of your own."

Neil & Hannah's Story

Tracking your every move at The Crossing Church

So you'd like to go to church, stay a little under the radar and then go about your life?  Not at The Crossing Church, as your every move is now being tracked.  Lets break down how it now works:

Well you already know about the seat Nazis; you aren't allowed to be a grown up and pick the seat of your choosing as you are told where you will sit.  This is done for two reasons; first, to make the room look filled and create an excited energy from being packed together, second, is for you to start submitting to their self-claimed authority over you.

Now along with your assigned seat comes the new Section Leaders.  This is the brain child of mega-church pastor Bill Hybels.  As you can see in this video, he explains that the entire church will be broken out into sections and each section will have a leader.  He wants every person that comes in the church to be 'touched' by someone and welcomed.  Sounds nice, right?  Not really.  The Section Leaders are then responsible for reciting scripted messages, usually about serving or tithing, to their sections and making those numbers happen. They'll speak to you as if they have some special thoughts from their heart but they have been given the exact words to say.  If they see a new person they are to stop any conversation they are having and try and get that new person to their section.  So of course numbers in each section are tracked, how many people they speak to are tracked and how many conversations they have outside of church are tracked.  More people in the door means more tithe money coming in.  Are you seeing the manipulation now?

When you don't show up the next week you are called as you're now on their radar.  It's all done under the guise of "we miss you" but what they miss is that you are a number and their numbers went down when you weren't there.  It's all false caring and it's fucking hurtful.

I'll say it again and I won't stop saying it ~ YOU CAN LEAVE!  You may feel you have to stay, you may feel you have nowhere else to go, you may feel stuck but you aren't.  People will not go to hell because you leave The Crossing Church.  God is not going to be angry if you make a decision for yourself.  You are not alone and you will be just fine.  Really.

It's time to wake up, Crossing Church!

It's time to wake up, Crossing Church!  You are being manipulated, used and even extorted by the leadership of The Crossing Church of Elk River, Minnesota; most specifically Eric and Kelly Dykstra.  Your time, your resources, and of course your money, are being bled dry by this church.  

Ask yourself these questions and see what answers you come up with (Be honest!  Jesus is watching!):
How many hours of your time is spent in service to The Crossing Church?  This includes inviting people to church, calling people and doing all their marketing for them.

How much money are you giving to The Crossing Church?  How much is above the required Old Testament mandate of giving "10% of your fields".  Give Eric a bail of hay next time you see him and enjoy that reaction!

How many emails, calls and verbal reprimands are you treated to in a week?  How many forms do you need to fill out for their approval?  What are the repercussions of not doing these things?

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 - 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Does anything about your current experience feel "light"? I know you are tired.  Exhausted in fact.  But you have been so completely brainwashed that the church, The Crossing Church, is the only hope for the world and you feel everyone's fate rides on your shoulders.

You always want to do something amazing, right?  This is another part that lures you in.  "We have a vision from God!  We're going to be a church of 20,000!"  Or is it 10,000?  I heard God's been changing the numbers recently.  Check with Eric, as God's only speaking to him.

Compare your life to Eric & Kelly's:
Are you frequently traveling and vacationing?
Dining out at fine restaurants?

Living large?  (They sure are!)
You may be angry at me for saying it, or not agree with my methods, but am I wrong?  Come on; am I wrong!?!

You do not have to stay there.  God is not going to punish you for leaving.  Are you scared?  (Most are when they leave The Crossing Church)  I'd be happy to talk to you and will keep it fully anonymous.  TFTBA@mail.com  It's YOUR life!  Eric & Kelly Dykstra have not been placed in authority over you by God...YOU gave them that authority and you can take it away.

Get out.  Be free.  It's a much happier place to be.  

The Crossing Church wants your money right away!

The Crossing Church of Elk River, Minnesota wants your money.  $ Money $ Money $ Money $  But they don't simply want you to ask you for your hard earned cash after the sermon because there is a possibility you may leave before their 5 minute (10 minute, upwards of 15 minutes!) tithing speech.  So now you'll notice they do the push for money during worship time; "as part of the worship experience".

You understand this is all cleverly orchestrated to manipulate you, right?  This isn't God speaking on their behalf.  You have a Section Leader (oh yes, we'll be talking about the 'Sections' very soon) who has been given a script on what to say to you, which ties into the tithe talk and sermon.  Have you noticed the forced clapping as they do the offering?  Again, this is more subtle manipulation for you to give a conditioned response (giving them money) when you make this motion each time.

Eric and Kelly Dykstra are using you!  Wake up!

Here is why The Crossing Church (Free Grace United) has been called a Cult

In The Crossing Church's latest series "Havin' Church", Eric Dykstra gave a sermon called "What's the difference between a Church and a Cult?"  Do tell!  I listened with great anticipation to find that cults were never spoken of in this sermon.  Curious.  There are many ways to speak on a number of points that came up from this sermon, but right now I only want to talk about why they didn't actually talk about cults, and more specifically why The Crossing Church has been called a cult.

The sermon tried to explain what a "healthy" church looks like, and by comparison, how The Crossing Church is supposedly healthy.  (It's not.)  Eric Dykstra says that a healthy church is not label focused, not person focused and not system focused.  This from the person that put his and his wife's faces on a billboard.  This from the person that tries to brand everything with the Crossing logo. This from the church that has a fully system focused Code!  

I broke this down in my post "I'm Offended" as to why people called The Crossing Church a Cult.  I'll list the reasons again:

• A mother was trying to save her son after your reckless comments and authority trip caused him to leave his family, get married hastily and leave college.  Here is her story: One Mother's Journey 
• You were kicking people out of your church, ruining lives and acting like a cult.  Another story: Open Letter to Eric Dykstra
• You were so focused on church growth and yourselves that people were treated like they were disposable. Another story:Keeping the Faith
• You were forcing submission, insane amounts of tithing and promoting fear.  WCCO news report: Community in Elk River Discusses Controversial Church
• You wouldn't take accountability for anything.  WCCO news report: Pastor Addresses Controversy
• You were allowing abusive leadership to lie and hurt others. My Story 

Here are typical signs of possibly being in a cult (see below).  It's fair to note that some of these signs can be present, and maybe the organization isn't necessarily a cult, but it's still controlling and dangerous.

• •Absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability.

The Dykstra's have no accountability.  They bring other mega church leaders on as board members, and these leaders have a thirst for fame just as the Dykstra's, so there is no one to monitor the situation and keep things safe.

No tolerance for questions or critical inquiry.

No one is allowed to question.

No meaningful financial disclosure regarding budget or expenses, such as an independently audited financial statement.

• Ask for a statement of the church's finances.  Ask to know the Dykstra's salaries.  You'll get nothing.

There is no legitimate reason to leave, former followers are always wrong in leaving, negative or even evil.

• People that leave are outcasts.

Former members often relate the same stories of abuse and reflect a similar pattern of grievances.

• See blog posts in list above.

There are records, books, news articles, or broadcast reports that document the abuses of the group/leader.

• WCCO news did multiple reports on the abuses of The Crossing.

• The group/leader is always right.

• Read The Code.  Eric Dykstra is felt to have a Vision from God!

 The Crossing Church members are expected to orbit their lives around that church, they are expected to tithe (big!) and serve to exhaustion.  No, The Crossing it's Jonestown about to drink the Kool Aid (yet), but it has domineering leadership, manipulative tactics and unhealthy behaviors.

As Eric Dykstra loves to say, "Run, Forest, Run!!"

The Crossing Church - Playing on Fear and Greed for Cash

Anything new happening at The Crossing Church?  Same regurgitated bullshit?  Yep, pretty much. 

Play on what people want to hear, expose their fears and promise them everything will work out.  It's what we all want: a guarantee.  We want to be assured that we won't get sick and die too soon.  We want to believe our families and loved ones will always be safe and secure.  We want a safety net from all the worries about money.  

Everyone is scared whether they admit it or not.  Of course due to past experience, some are much more frightened than others.  But no one has the "peace that passes all understanding".  This is why people pray like maniacs, fast, tithe and submit themselves to controlling church leadership.  If I do ___ then I'll get ____.  As long as I pray the prayer of ___ then nothing bad will happen.  

Bad happens.  Bad happens all the time.  Bad happens all the time to good people.  What then?  Oh that means that you're being tested, or strengthened, or God thinks you can handle it. (cough cough)  

A few doozies from Pastor Eric Dykstra's "Big Ask Series":

25:27 – when you open the door to him he ALWAYS comes through

30:40 – as you begin to pray, he will begin to respond

31:30 – God will speak as clearly as a text message if you will talk to him

32:20 – you guys have Caribou coffee in the lobby, however in MY OFFICE we serve Starbucks, because I LIKE Starbucks  (...said the raging narcissist) 

36:14 – if you go out and pray in the moment you will have supernatural peace

36:46 – you've never prayed a prayer where nothing has happened...when you pray something always changes...every time.  (Nope.)

So when you're praying for your uncle to stop molesting you and he doesn't, then God changes your heart.  When you pray for a healthy baby and you have a stillborn, God changes your heart.  When you pray for financial help and you become homeless, God changes your heart.  Gee....see any possible error in this idea?  See how this might really hurt people who have been fucked by life?

I'm begging you Crossing, and all prosperity churches, stop using the people of your congregation for your gain.  Stop using people's fear to fund your vacations and new homes.  You are hurting people and one day you will pay dearly.  I ask you, I plead with you, to stop.  You aren't doing God's work; this is only for your ego and pocketbook.

The Missing Sermon(s) at The Crossing Church - Part 2

The Crossing Church had a new sermon series last month called "First".  Well you don't need to be a regular attender to know there will be a big tithe push going on here.  Giving the "first" 10% (or more) of your income was sure to be mentioned at every service.  To validate my theory on this, it seems none of the sermons were posted online.  Curious, isn't it?  They have multiple locations, multiple services, stream live each week and post all their sermons...except none of the "First" series was posted.

Here's a doozie from that series that was tweeted out:

Noah?  Are you kidding me?  NOAH?!  LMAO!  So if you don't give God (The Crossing Church) money then you'll get killed in the next natural disaster!?

This is reminiscent of February 2013 where another sermon on a similar subject never showed up online.  Same time of year too!  And why would that be?  Well it's just before Easter.  Easter is the time of year where churches need to draw in new attenders (money rolls).  The Crossing Church always goes big at Easter as they know many will attend out of guilt.

The Crossing Church - Always Only About Money.  Every single time.

So prove me wrong Crossing people.  What was the sermon about?  Why do you think they aren't posting it?  Ask.  I dare you to ask!

Subtle Manipulation to Get More Money at The Crossing Church

How The Crossing Church uses Subtle Manipulation to Get More Money out of their congregants.

I've been randomly listening to Eric Dykstra's sermons for months now and a theme has happened with each and every one; he's going for the money.  Every sermon, no matter the content, has a punchline of "You must tithe."  "You need to show God you can trust him with your money before he can trust you with bigger things."  "Give more."  "Give more to us."  Now if you're a bible believing person you can easily research that all this forced giving is not biblical at all.  Just Google it.

What I want to address is the ways they are manipulating people's emotions to finance their empire and their own lives.  It's the old formula of: tithe + prayer + doing things right = BLESSINGS!  It's disgusting.  People are desperate.  They want hope, they want guarantees and they want security.  They are told if they just follow this formula, with tithing always pushed the most, that life will work out.  Of course they have their pastors, Eric & Kelly Dykstra, as their grand examples of how if you follow their plan that financial blessings will fall from the heavens.  Because they certainly aren't wanting for anything right?  Big house, new Mustangs sent directly from God because of a special prayer, huge new church building, insanely expensive shoes , fantastic vacations both in the U.S. and overseas.  And then the one with more audacity than can even be stomached: when Kelly prayed that her Starbucks card would always be filled!  WTF?  Yes, you heard that right.  Well of course her Starbucks card is always full as she announced this from the stage so everyone would know to make sure to keep it full for her.  Then she acts like it's some special blessing from God that Starbucks cards are given to her.  Kelly, by going on stage and saying this was your special prayer you then put it in everyone's head a new way to kiss up to you.  That's why you have a full Starbucks card - not God!

I haven't forgotten the time Eric stood on stage, during a sermon on obeying your leaders, and said that if a leader did something for you then you should buy them something.  He gave an example of how he had just sent Bill Cornelius a $50 gift card.  Gee...and how many $50 gift cards did Eric get after that?  You are preaching to these working class, blue collar people and flat out using them for your own financial gain.  It's horrific.

Nobody gets a guarantee in this life.  Nobody.  God, or no God, the good luck is handed out randomly and without warning or by deeds. There are Christians being killed all over the world for their faith.  Children in poverty in Minnesota.  Death, suffering, dying, jobs lost, financial ruin, divorce, disease.  So is this because they weren't tithing?!?!  If they'd just given a church 10% then that would have been their spiritual insurance policy!?! Sure some people are going to profit as with any scenario; just run the numbers.  But what about those who do everything "right" and your formula just doesn't work?  You are ruining lives.  You are breaking hearts.  SHUT UP!  Just stop it!

I hadn't blogged about The Crossing for awhile.  Sure there was more than enough material for many posts but it's the same old shit.  Yet I can't keep quiet about the money manipulation.  Look at who you are really giving to and financing, Crossing attendees.

Spiritual Abuse happens everywhere

This post is simply to link to another amazing blog post (or more specifically the comments section).

http://nakedpastor.com/2014/09/tony-jones-on-mark-driscoll-what-came-first-the-thug-or-the-theology/

Here's a quick summary:

Mark Driscoll, mysogynist - asshole - mega church leader - gets caught being abusive to his congregation, accused of plagiarism and inappropriate use of church money.

Tony Jones - narcissistic - Emergent - blogger - writes a blog saying "It could have happened to any of us."  Wow, Tony!  No, I don't think this could have happened to anyone but a power hungry prick.  Takes one to know one, right?

So David Hayward (nakedpastor) does a cartoon and blog post about all of this.

As of this post, it's at 774 comments.  Tony's ex-wife came on and cut loose about the horrors she experienced with him and the Emergent movement leaders.  Some of these leaders, including Tony, came on trying to silence her.  She continued on.  Other leaders came on and apologized for how they'd treated her.  More people came forward sharing their own stories of spiritual abuse.  It's been horrifying, wonderful, sad and healing.  Spiritual abuse happens everywhere....but people are now speaking up and not hiding.

You are not being persecuted for Jesus, Crossing Church

Just watched the last of The Crossing Church's sermon series "Taste & See".  Though the sermon was preached to the church, it was really just a pep rally to get the congregation to bring more people to church.  (Church growth = $$$)  The Crossing has done everything from outright public shaming to make their people bring more to their church (ex. - putting invite cards on every chair and making everyone stand "before God" to commit to giving them out) to the more subtle ways, such as this sermon.  

Pastor Eric Dykstra went through various ways that people react to hearing the Gospel.  The first he calls Rejection - "the enemy steals some peoples' understanding".  "It's not that they don't understand - The Evil One STOLE their ability to understand."  - referencing 2 Corinthians 4:4.  So if I don't believe like you, with your interpretation, then Satan has confused me?  

He goes on to say that, "You can't convince anyone to believe.  It's the Holy Spirit's job."  "they don't have deep roots - they fall away as soon as they have problems" "we stay in faith and grow past our problems"  "they tithed once" "you stay in faith until you see it"  So if someone's faith dies, then why didn't the Holy Spirit kick in and help?  Provide comfort?  This doesn't make any sense at all.  So what happened to me?  Because I did believe.  I did.  I was baptized twice.  I gave, gave and gave some more. I was "in the faith" for decades.  

The real fun comes at minute 26.  "Persecution usually looks like false accusation, slander, mockery or lying...."  Oh hell, you aren't being persecuted for Jesus.  I am mocking you because of the dumb ass things you say that hurt people.  Big difference.  Oh and your reference to the End Times was hysterical.  

Yes, I did get "the life sucker punched out of them"...by you Crossing Church. 

So he says at the beginning that the Holy Spirit is in charge of bringing people to Jesus.  Not you.  You're off the hook.  Yeah!  Then the best scripture twisting moment is at minute 42.  "those who believe produce fruit - do you have any?" "your life is going to lead someone to Jesus...you've gotta keep saying the Gospel until someone comes to FAITH!!!!"  At minute 46:20 he says that  "you're gonna be the one to do it".  Minute 44 "you get to do this church!!"  Um, no.  Producing fruit has to do with the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, kindness, etc...  People coming to Jesus is not a test of your faith and it's so sad to think how many in that Crossing Church audience felt the shame of that ridiculous statement.

It's the same old song and dance.  The Crossing Church is once again putting the weight of the world on the shoulders of those who attend.  As I've said before, Big Give expectation will be soon.

Spiritual Misfit - A book review

Though following the antics of The Crossing Church does take up valuable time, not to mention annoyance, I was recently shown the website Blogging for Books and have begun doing book reviews for them.  The first book I chose was Spiritual Misfit by Michelle DeRusha.  I had high hopes for this book after reading the back cover: "After twenty years of unbelief, estranged from her childhood faith and ultimately from God, Michelle DeRusha unexpectedly found herself wrestling hard with questions of spirituality— and deeply frustrated by the lack of clear answers. Until she realized that the questions themselves paved a way for faith.“Declaring my unbelief,” writes DeRusha, “was the first step; declaring my unbelief allowed me to begin to seek authentically.” Spiritual Misfit chronicles one woman’s journey toward an understanding that belief and doubt can coexist."

Though this book starts out with the author exploring her doubt it quickly becomes a checklist on how to be a good church-going Christian.  She was raised Catholic, married a Minnesota Lutheran but really had no firm spiritual base of any kind.  She begins going to a Lutheran church after moving to Nebraska; more out of feeling she should, trying desperately to fit in and to relieve the loneliness of being in a new place without the security of friends and family.  

She has some real moments where she admits her true feelings: "To fake my belief was better than facing the terrifying truth of no life after death."  Yet even in her doubt, it's clear she feels she should believe something.  She is searching for truth but it results in following the set formula.  She flips flops back and forth between acceptance that she'll never fully know the mysteries of the universe to speaking fluent Christianese using every cliche ever written.  I wanted to experience her frustration and doubt yet each time she'd get close to being honest and real, she would come back with a pat answer straight from Sunday school.  

This book clearly had a Christian Evangelical audience in mind and isn't truly written for someone living in the tension between belief and unknowing.  

Thank You Crossing Church

In the last few weeks there has been quite a bit of both outrage and support over my latest post about The Crossing Church's antics.  In public comments and private messages I've been told I'm bitter, my heart is hard, my view on morality questionable and I'm going to burn in hell.  I've also been thanked for calling out the hypocrisy and not backing down.

A recent comment by Peter, "It's my prayer that the reality of sin and God's justice would break your hardened heart and that the good news of God's perfect grace would mend that broken heart."

First of all, my heart is neither hardened nor broken.  I sure felt that way for most of my life after years of indoctrination of being told "you're a sinner", "you're broken", "you need to ask Jesus to soften your heart".  No.  I'm just a human; neither good or bad.  Just existing.  Have I done things that society would consider morally wrong?  Sure.  Have I done things that I personally find to be wrong?  Yes.  But I not longer believe that any of these things are worthy of being burned for eternity in a lake of fire if I don't believe correctly, say magical words or live a certain way.  Not that there aren't consequences to possibly face for actions but those consequences happen here, while alive, and are not forever.  

No need to give me a Christianese rant as I know every argument you'll try to give.  They bore me.  If your God is truly real and truly loving then I'm fine and I'll have to gamble on those things and not the bullshit guilt trip I've been sold my entire life.

All that said; I do want to sincerely thank The Crossing Church for being the final straw that got me out of the Christian life.  

Thank you for not answering my questions, as I finally learned that no one has those answers.

Thank you for being abusive to your members, as I then had to leave and thankfully never go back.

Thank you for being so arrogant and vain, as it gave confirmation to my intuition saying "this just isn't right".

Thank you for keeping me on the outside and never letting me into the popular crowd, as I'm sure I would have stayed and still be sucked into your nonsense.

Thank you for consistently acting ridiculous, as that forced me to dig deeper and open my eyes.

Thank you for mismanaging money and living large off the tithes of your members.

I was just reading a recent post by Pastor Eric Dykstra that said to walk in freedom, joy and love.  I do walk in those things because of releasing Christianity.  No book of rules, no forced giving, no expectations.  I get to think for myself, use logic and reason, and not believe I'm hard and broken.  It's a true freedom like no other.  

I thank you because after all the searching, the sadness, the pain and the anger, I'm finally free of you.  I kissed hell, a vengeful God, penal substitutionary atonement and the "inerrant word of God" good bye and it's wonderful.  I did it all while in Christianity: every prayer, every study, every song, every shame filled service.  I did all these things while pushing down the feeling that it was all bullshit.  Asked Jesus into my heart a good 10,000 times, and was even told by a Crossing church leader "maybe you should do it again - out loud in front of me" because supposedly their presence would make it take and then I'd feel it the way they did?  Whatever.  Baptized twice and no special supernatural thing ever happened.  It was in going all in at The Crossing Church that it finally fell apart.  

I don't know if there is a God.  I don't know if there is an after life.  I don't know and that's OK.  I live in the tension between the possibility of an all powerful deity and nothingness.  And that's fine.  I'm open to all thoughts, possibilities and ideas.  I accept that what I feel today will probably change.  Jesus said his burden was light, and he was cool so maybe that's true, but the burden of the church is unbearable.  So happy to be free.  Thank you Crossing Church.

Crossing Church Grand Opening - Can they move past their previous abuses?

It's a matter of hours until The Crossing Church begins their grand opening of their multi-million dollar new building.  Their "leaders" are poised and ready for the troubled, naive and clueless to wander through the new doors with their wallets open in hopes of getting a little "favor" or "blessings" from God.  What most of these people don't realize is The Crossing Church's history and their failure to right the wrongs of their troubled past.

Churches are run by humans and any good Christian will take a lot of effort to shame anyone that speaks out against pain and suffering caused by the church.  We spoke out anyway.  We were belittled, demeaned and even threatened to shut up but we didn't.  We were told we were: bitter, confused, stopping people from meeting Jesus, needed to forgive and heartless.  We told our many stories of manipulation, betrayal, hurt and disposal.

There was an apology, to me, though I'm not really the one that needed it.  To put it bluntly, I do not see how The Crossing Church, and specifically Eric and Kelly Dyskstra, can stand on that stage bellowing about grace and not make amends for the immense damage they did to human lives. It's unfathomable yet it goes on.

I've said it before and I'll reiterate it one more time: Eric, Kelly and The Crossing - if you make amends for what you've done then I will shut up.  Admit it.  Stop covering up.  Humble yourselves.  Let go of your insanely large egos for just a moment and be sorry.  You wonder why people call you a cult?  This is why!!

Where Does My Tithe Money Go? (Kelly takes a vacation)

When you give to a church it's usually understood that the money goes to support the church's finances and keep it running.  Being a pastor's daughter I was well aware that the lights weren't free and the offering paid Daddy's salary.  

At The Crossing church it's a little different: you are giving to God!  You are told repeatedly that God needs 10% (minimum) back and if you give this you'll be blessed!  You can visibly see that a multi-million dollar building is being built but the premise is this: bigger church - more people can fit - so more people get saved by Jesus.  They say they are now being transparent with finances and I'll admit I haven't seen this yet.  

I did see this: These were all the dates Kelly traveled this year.  WOW!

1/25-1/28 - Alabama (funeral / family)
2/2 - St. Louis
2/12-2/16 - C3 - Dallas (conference)
3/18 - Haiti
3/19 - Miami (flying back from Haiti)
4/1 - IA (Easter with family)
5/16 - Seattle (conference)
5/28 - 6/13 - Extended Vacation
9/9 - Houston (Joel Osteen)
10/1 - Staff Retreat
10/17 - Brainerd
11/11-11/17 - Nashville (conference)
11/28 - IA (Thanksgiving with family)
12/2 - 12/6 - Liberty Church / PA, Ohio, Niagara Falls (9 state road trip)
12/25 - Off on another plane (assuming for Christmas with family)

Whether for a conference or family vacation that's a lot of money spent traveling.  Tithe money.  The Dykstra's are of course free to allocate their salaries in any way they choose.  But I have to ask; how much was paid for by the church?  

While pondering this I looked up my Paypay account to see my giving history to The Crossing.  The attached picture is only two months worth of giving.  Looking back I can see how they used manipulation and fear to persuade me, and so many others, to give.  I gave as if I was paying off a mob boss (God).  I never expected blessings - I was just looking for less pain - maybe some protection.  

I sacrificed to give this much.  This was WAY above 10%, this was savings, this was grocery money.  I'm left to wonder how much went to a vacation, shoes or dining out.  I can't lie about this; I'm seething just thinking about it.

Get your Breakthrough at The Crossing Church

It was recently said to me  "I hope these posts give you the peace you need."  I said, "They give me laughs!"  Though I really do get a ton of laughs while writing these, her comment really stuck with me.  I asked myself "What am I getting from this blog?"  I did a post explaining why I care yet the latest posts are for much more than simply talking about what happened in the past and how The Crossing Church has never formally apologized to those they hurt.  My recent posts about The Crossing's 10% Advantage is about how churches manipulate and play on people's emotions and fears to get money.  It's sick and it's wrong.

I keep posting because I find The Crossing's formula, actually the typical Christian formula, to be a form of emotional and spiritual abuse.

Sure there is Grace; but want to make it better?  You don't HAVE to tithe but if you do then you get MORE!  People go to church, and most specifically churches like The Crossing, because they promise a better future.  They are selling hope at the bargain price of only 10% of your income!  This is done under the guise of "giving back to God".  Do all this and get a Breakthrough!

This is all well and good until:

• there is job loss, no one hiring and bills are piling up
• your debilitating pain condition gets worse
• a child dies
• a loved one is diagnosed with mental illness and life becomes chaos
• your church kicks you out
• your spouse has an affair and asks for a divorce
• your depression worsens and you become immobile
• Mr./Mrs. Right never comes

Yet it never stops at merely giving money; there will be bible study ("getting into the Word!"), small groups, serving, praying, praying some more, having others pray for you and baptism.  Each of these keeps you doing something so you feel that surely your prayers will get answered.  When something goes right they yell "Yeah God!" and when it all falls apart you are left alone in your misery. Sure there will be the typical comments of "Are you praying?  Are you giving?  Do you have bitterness in your heart?  Are you sure you are really a Christian?" and the extra loving "Well I had a hard life too and I'm happy so what's your problem!?".  Ahh the Christian love!

Prayers will go unanswered.  It does not always work out in the end.  You have no guarantees.  This is life.  What The Crossing does, and so many churches like them, is to set people up for a downfall, disbelief and heartbreak.

My best breakthrough was the day I left.

Crossing Church's 10% Advantage or Gambling with Jesus - Part III

"Tithing in your poverty, gives you the supernatural possibility of moving to plenty." ~ Eric Dykstra

Unlike giving to a charity where you know your money goes to a good cause and you get nothing in return, pastors play on your desire for more when preaching about tithing.  They won't say you'll definitely have more money if you tithe but the implication is there the entire time.  

First the verses of "God's promises" (These are always Christian favorites.  These are the quotable verses, the ones you put on a special card or key chain.  I get it.  You sure don't want Deuteronomy 22:28-29 as a fridge door magnet!)

Jeremiah 29:11 - “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Never mind that this verse was for the entire nation of Israel and not special shout out to you.  Sure wouldn't want to read anything in context!

Philipians 4:19 - "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." First, there is nothing about tithing here.  Second, Paul is speaking to a church, not YOU!

After the verses, and more promises that God will perfectly take care of you (In the old school days a singer would belt into "His eye is on the sparrow" about now.) then comes some amazing examples.  The Crossing first told of a couple who tithed and God gave them a booming business (A huge storm hit Bloomington and their construction business hit the jackpot!  Yeah God!).  The next week was a story about a lady who prayed that if God gave her money she'd use it wisely.  She then goes to her daughter's shower, gets a scratch off lottery ticket and wins $100,000.  The parallels between her scratch off, and the money people put into the church in hopes God will shower them with blessings, is down right hysterical.  

All this plays with people's minds.  They want more money, they want nice things, they want to be out of poverty, and just like putting some money down on the blackjack table in hopes of winning, they do the same with giving to church.  It's all shrouded in grace, love and generosity but it still comes down to greed.  If it wasn't about the gamble of "you have to put something in to get more out" then the example stories wouldn't be needed.  

They don't show the stories of the people who gave and lost their jobs, lost their homes, got sick and died.  Tithing gives the illusion of security and protection.  People are led to believe that if they put in 10% plus then some supernatural voodoo will happen and they won't have financial issues.  This is also where shaming comes in.  If someone says they are broke, they are sick or they are down and out, the first questions are: "Are you tithing?"  "Do you have faith?"  "Have you put Jesus first?"  "Are you praying?"  Blah, blah, blah...  So if shit isn't working out then you'd better believe it's Your Fault!

Pastor Eric Dykstra - You are a prosperity preacher.  You might not like the name but you really need to own it.  You are using people for your own gain.  Again.  Just with the new tagline of "grace".  It's wrong.

Crossing Church's 10% Advantage or Gambling with Jesus - Part II

"If you are returning the tithe, and still not walking into more than enough, it's probably because you don't know where the other 90% went."  ~ Eric Dykstra

These are the 5 points that The Crossing Church says you need to do in order to live "abundantly".

1.) Return the Tithe
2.) Ask God how he wants you to budget his money
3.) Save
4.) Plan for the future
5.) Listen to the Spirit of God and be generous

You are obviously doing quite well Pastor Dykstra.  If you are able to have a savings, saving for retirement, saving for your children's college, able to buy a beautiful house on the river, buy your wife a new Dodge Charger, travel non-stop (Or are the tithes of your church paying for that since it's "church business"?) - then you are living large compared to the average person in your church.  How are you preaching about saving for retirement when you told your church in 2011 that you'd given your entire 401K to the building Samurai fund?  

I gave.  I gave the Full Tithe.  I gave much more.  I gave until it hurt and then I gave more.  What happened?  Nothing.  No random checks in the mail, no winning lottery tickets given to me, no bonuses at work.  Or was this a special character builder?

I saved.  No credit card debt, no payments except for regular bills and no "extras".  I gave ALL of my savings to the Crossing multiple times when they convinced me that if I "planted a seed", then God would take care of me.  What happened?  I no longer had a savings.  

I budgeted.  No car payment (high miles), thrift store shopping, coupons and eating leftovers.  No flat screen, no iphone, no bigger house, no new car.

Though I'm making fun of The Crossing's manipulative examples of people who tithed and then God blessed the living hell out of them, I really never expected any special thing to happen if I tithed  My charity giving (which is supposed to be above the 10% you give to the church) was because I cared and felt it was the right thing to do.  The tithe was because I'd been indoctrinated to fear what would happen if I didn't give.  I just didn't want God to hurt me anymore.  So funny that now Pastor Dykstra says the tithe isn't based on the law.  As always, "my yoke is easy and my burden is light" just doesn't exist in the church.  Especially not an up and coming mega church.  

Pastor Eric said, "Do you know what separates atheists from Christians?  Generosity."  That's bullshit.  All my atheist friends are insanely generous.  Generous because they are amazing people...not because they are looking to get something.  

I no longer tithe.  What happened?  Nothing.  Oh wait...I got a 10% income raise!  

Crossing Church's 10% Advantage or Gambling with Jesus - Part I

Pastor Eric Dykstra starts this series claiming "I'm not a prosperity preacher - I'm a grace preacher!"  You are most certainly, without any question, a Prosperity Preacher.  You are playing on people's emotions and giving them hope in their actions (tithing +) as a way for security.  

Some quotes from the series:

"Prosperity is not a bad word, it's a bible word."  So is humility.

"He'll richly provide us with everything for our enjoyment."  Is this how Jesus lived?  Or Paul?  

"If you bring the full tithe he'll take you to the place of no need."  So if you have need then it's your fault.  

"God says I would love to give you more but I've got to get more through you." Again, if your life isn't working then you just need to give more.  Favorite Joel Osteen quote, which Pastor Eric referenced, "If you have a need then plant a seed."  

"Tithing in your poverty gives you the Supernatural POSSIBILITY of moving to plenty."  So do slot machines.  They even go so far as to tell about a woman who was tithing, asked God for money and got a $100,000 dollar lottery ticket.  Hopefully her tithe from this big win will pay for most of their $15,000 Grand Opening fund.  Money well spent; it's not like there are people who are down and out and could use a hand.  Oh wait...those people should be tithing if they need help!!  Duh!

From Kelly Dykstra's blog: "We are drawn to bubble baths, fuzzy slippers, a crackling fireplace, pretty shoes, shiny stones, delicious food...because they represent the entitled life; the class for which we were created."  Really Kelly?  God wants us to live the entitled life?  We should be praying to get new cars?  I see the Dykstra's doing very well; constantly flying around the country, new Charger, fabulous dining out.  Living large!  Hey Crossing staff - is life this great for you?

"If you are returning the tithe, and still not walking into more than enough, it's probably because you don't know where the other 90% went."  

This entire series so far has been audio only.  Normally The Crossing loves to promote and look at themselves so this is extra interesting.  Reminds me of a previous time when they were also talking about tithing and money and didn't post the last sermon in the series.  So if everything you are preaching is good and about Jesus, then why the secrecy?  

There is so much more to say, and I will most definitely say it, but for now I need to go throw up in my mouth.  

The Comfort of Belief

As I looked at my annoyance and animosity towards those that cannot explain their beliefs, or never explored why they believe what they believe, I want to try and look at it from their point of view.  As dear Dr. Phil says, "If you keep doing something, then you are getting something out of it."  So I'd like to look into what these people get out of remaining uninformed.  

I first have to ask myself what I got out of my ignorance.  I had a pattern, from childhood, of asking a question and then when the person's answer still left me with more questions I'd get angry.  Sometimes I'd keep asking until I usually exasperated the person I was asking, as they didn't have a real answer, and they'd then rebuke me in some way.  I was told I caused dissension.  I was told I had a spirit of rebellion.  Lots of shaming but still no answers.  

As an adult I stopped asking after awhile and simply tried to ignore the growing cognitive dissonance.  I comforted myself with John 3:12-  I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?.  I tried to believe I didn't see the entire picture.  I decided I didn't see the big picture, since I wasn't God, and tried desperately to trust there was a reason for it all.  I was tired of the questions and was desperate for "the peace which passes all understanding".  The peace never came and the questions got bigger.  I screamed into the nothingness the words of Mark 9:24 - ..."“Lord, I believe;help my unbelief!”  But did I even believe?  Truly believe?  Not really.  But I sure didn't want to burn in hell so I pressed forward.  

I started going to The Crossing Church as a last ditch effort at Christianity which I briefly detail on my first post.  They had a class called "Ask Anything" which was supposed to be a bit salacious and edgy.  I came with a list of questions and verses that troubled me.  When I asked my question I was extremely agitated as this meant a lot to me.  I pointed out a specific verse that I couldn't reconcile in my brain with a God of love.  I said, "Why should I worship this God?!"  Pastor Eric laughed and said, "Then don't!" and proceeded to get the crowd to laugh at me.  I kept on until he finally became annoyed and told me they had to go to other questions.  Break time came and I was still seething.  My head was screaming for me to leave but I sat motionless.  Eric came to me and dropped the belittling demeanor and said, "There are verses in the bible I don't like also.  You just have to lean into the love of Jesus."  Leaning into the love of Jesus was something I couldn't do as I'd never felt that love.  I'd prayed "the sinner's prayer" more times than I could count.  I begged to have the emotion and feeling others had of this love, grace and mercy.  Yet I felt nothing.  

After leaving the church I was numb and didn't know what to do.  I began speaking to people of all faiths and no faith.  I started to research all the biblical things that caused my mind to explode and that was where my world fell apart.  There were no pat answers.  There was no perfect solution.  I could no longer hide behind ignorance or unknowing. There was nothing left to comfort me and I had to face that I was agnostic.  It's only been in the past few months that I have vocalized being agnostic.  


So coming back to those that cannot explain the origins of their beliefs, why they believe or even what they believe.  I recently heard someone say, in reference to challenging beliefs, that "when people's anxiety gets trumped up they start behaving badly".  I've seen this time and time again.  When I confront or dispute long held Christian beliefs, even in the form of questions, people get very agitated.  Their faith, in whatever form they make it, comforts them.  For me to put their long held beliefs up to scrutiny is like pulling the spiritual rug out from under them.  I want to own my part though.  I also recently heard on this same subject matter, "we want to be affirmed by them and are angry they aren't affirming us".  Ouch.  Yes, I can definitely own those feelings.  

This brings me to a bigger question: Why do I feel the need to make them understand their own beliefs?  There is anger and jealousy there.  Whether they are living a fantasy or reality, they appear to be skipping merrily down the land while I drown in doubt.  I miss the days of believing (or trying to believe) God would take care of everything.  There is a lot of comfort and security in the ignorance.  But I had seen the man behind the curtain so I couldn't go back.  So where does this leave us?  Do I demand they affirm me?  Do I smile and nod when they throw out a "God is good, all the time" statement, while shoving down my disdain?  Is there room for dialogue and conversation while maintaining the relationship?  I hope so.  We all deserve respect and safety in these issues and questions.