The Crossing Church is now Free Grace United

Did you spot the name change over the weekend?  The Crossing Church is now Free Grace United.  The reason they are stating for the change:

In a nutshell, we are now a multi-congregational church vs a multi-site church. 

Each congregation of Free Grace United is a distinct local church. 
They vary in size, demographics, and cultural aesthetics. Each has its own story, its own pastors, 
and its own ministries. 

The Crossing was a name for a local church in Elk River, and we’ve expanded beyond that and plan to do more expansion in the future. 

That's cute.  It's also bullshit.  I've received numerous messages from people alerting me to the change (Oh I saw it!) and we all agree....the change is being made to try and distance themselves from their shitty cult reputation.  Are they no longer a cult?  Oh fuck no!  Everything is the same: Dykstras ruling with iron fists, huge push to give them money, submit.  

Stay aware, minions!! 

#FreeGraceUnited

New Locations for The Crossing Church Mean New Money

The Crossing Church will be opening four new locations in Minneapolis, St. Paul, Becker and Milaca.  Lofty goal.  Do we actually need more churches?  You can spit out your window right now and you'll hit a cool church in a Jr. High, movie theater, or some other rented space, with a rocking band, coffee and maybe even donuts (dare to dream!).  No, more churches certainly aren't needed.  So the assumption would then be that more Crossing churches are needed because what they are doing is unique, different and will help you awful sinners "cross the line of faith".  Same shit, same package with the only difference being the pastors up front that you are taught to worship.

There is certainly cost associated with opening new locations and I'm sure The Crossing's congregations are being expected and pushed to give more.  The emotional manipulation begins with the teaching that these people will burn in hell for eternity if you aren't giving so Pastor Eric & Pastor Kelly can "preach the word" and bring them to Jesus.  If you believe this, and really think hard on the thought of your family and friends being deep fried after they die, then you truly feel the weight of the world to give everything to save them.

Church giving is big business.  Look at who the Dykstra's associate with....Joel Osteen...one of the most profitable mega church preachers around.  They are taught from him and other thieves, how to say the right words to tug on your heart and get you to give for their benefit.  These churches are set up with elder boards of other mega church preachers so there is no accountability with their salaries and other perks they receive.  And since churches aren't taxed they don't have to provide an annual report so fraud is rampant.  Note this line in the tax code:

"Every organization exempt from federal income tax under IRS 501(a) must file an annual information return except: 1) A church .... "

Ask for the Dykstra's salaries, ask for an annual report, ask to see where this money is going and see what they give you.  Instead you will be shamed for asking and given the run around.   Once these new locations are up and running they will get weekly tithe money.  The Crossing pushes the tithe hard and preys on your fears and greed to sway you to give more.  They'll say if you tithe, especially over 10%, then you'll get the living fuck blessed out of you....better job, raise, bigger house, save your marriage, protect your children....giving to God equals having all your shit work out.  So whatever you perceive as wrong in your life, then giving to them becomes the answer you've been looking for.  Until you give, and give, and give....and all that happens is you have less money.  As I've said before, leaving church was the biggest pay raise of my life!

These new churches aren't needed.  These new churches are only to build The Crossing's empire.  And you are all pawns in their sick game.

The Crossing Church (Free Grace United) Wants Your Money

The Crossing Church Wants Your Money.  They'll tell you it's for helping people cross the line of faith, needed for new programs and to expand their locations so less people burn in hell.  But look closer. 

They add services and locations so they can get more offering.  Notice do they ever have any service without passing the plate?  This is why they added "cabin services" as money goes down in the summer months in Minnesota...they want your money. 

They go to conferences to specifically be taught how to "preach the tithe"....this is all about getting your money.  Look at who they hang out with...Joel Osteen is known far and wide for being all about the money and this is whose book they will be passing out at a future service.

They will continue to push you to give more and more and more.  They will play on your fears and your greed.  "God blesses those who give!"  They see dollar figures when you walk in that door.

I'm out....I got my 10% (actually much higher) raise 7 years ago when I left that cult.  Keep your eyes open, Crossing minions.  Look at the Dykstra's lifestyle (and watch it continue to increase).  Tell them you are giving to another charity and listen to their response. 

The Questions you continue to ask me about The Crossing Church (Free Grace United)

Crossing church people, and those trying to make sense of their nonsense, I see you and I hear you.  I see what posts you are looking at.  I see when there are spikes in views and how they correlate to what The Crossing is currently doing.  I hear your questions. I see your confusion as you try to fight me.  Well let me use this post to reiterate any points I've made previously.  Disagree with me?  Bring it on.  All comments are welcome, and though accused of it, I've never moderated or deleted anything.

Here is what you're looking at and asking about:

Money & Tithing - Where does your money go when you give to the Crossing?
Eric & Kelly's lifestyle is the first thing the comes into question.  The travel, the homes, the cars, the vacations.  It's all right there.  Ask for their salaries?  You will be shot down.

The Crossing Church wants your money right away!
The Crossing profits big from Pastor Kelly's Twirl event
The Crossing Church playing on Fear and Greed for cash
Subtle manipulation to get more money
A challenge for Kelly Dykstra
Where does my tithe money go? (Kelly takes a vacation)
The Crossing Church's 10% Advantage - I
The Crossing Church's 10% Advantage - II
The Crossing Church's 10% Advantage - III

The Crossing's affirmation (or lack of) for the LGBT community (short answer is you are not affirmed and they feel being gay is a sin)
The Crossing Church comes out of the closet
The Crossing Church's LGBT statement
Pride Weekend and The Crossing Church

You want to know what they care about and where their hearts are?  They show you all the time.

PRIDE Weekend and The Crossing Church

As those of us in the Twin Cities begin our celebration of the GLBT community, as both members and allies, lets not forgot how The Crossing Church of Elk River, Minnesota views these beautiful humans.

Lets first look at their history.  On Kelly Dykstra's blog in 2005, referencing the Elk River Ministerial Association meeting that there was "a woman minister with a gay agenda trying to get in.  Ick,"  Did you catch that?  "ICK"  Then in 2013 they had Hannah Parks speak where she preached against homosexuality from their stage. 


In October of 2016 I obtained their LGBT Statement which in short says "homosexuality is wrong in the eyes of God".  This was a comment about The Crossing from that blog post, "this is why I left the church as well. I had the Unfortunate interaction with a church members who went on to tell me I was abused sexually as a child and that is why I was gay. he belittled me and told me my only way to heaven was to be straight and throw myself into the church. Pastor Eric and his wife I had several conversations with about this and their teachings. telling someone they accept you then treat you like less than is not the way to be Christian in my mind. they are hypocrites that want your money and throw you away when they are done with you."  


Their sermon series this week even addresses this:
WEEK TWO: Can I be gay and be a Christian?
-Is God anti-gay?
-Are gay people condemned to hell?
-What does the Bible really say about LGBTQ issues?
-How should a church deal with such a touchy subject?

I promise you that you will not be accepted, affirmed or loved.  

For those of you who still profess to be Christian, and are being pummeled by The Crossing or other churches, I would highly encourage you to research Matthew Vines.  He has done much more extensive research than these bigots and may help give you the true acceptance you deserve.  

The Crossing wants your money (most of all), your time and your dedication.  But stop giving any of these and they will spit you out and forget you.  This is a blog of staff members who left a year ago.  Horrifying, sad and typical of their behavior.

My friends; go enjoy your PRIDE weekend and celebrate who you are!  Fuck trying to find a way to get in with these small minded jerks.  You are perfect as you are.

Memories of The Crossing Church

It has been over 5 years since I darkened the doors of The Crossing Church in Elk River, Minnesota.  I see it frequently as I drive by for my work on occasion.  The new building, where they manipulated so many out of their hard earned money in Code of the Samurai, is up and shining in the sun.  I initially thought they'd be sorry for their actions and go back to the old days of reaching out to the broken.  There were some apologies but it's back to business as usual.  Though many are still leaving, and for the same reasons we spoke of years ago, they are quite skilled at getting in a new pack of ignorant wide-eyed fools (I used to be one) to financially support their rise to the top.

I've pondered for years now as to when the change happened and why it happened.  Yes, they got involved with Joel Osteen and saw dollar signs, but it was before that.  Yes, Eric wanted to compete with Steven Furtick, but it was before that.  I think I've finally figured it out.

You stopped serving your people and made the people serve you.

The Crossing Church wasn't always a money hungry group of vain "pastors" more concerned with image and your tithe money than the pain and suffering in your life.  Here is a short list of good memories I had at The Crossing Church and why I stayed as long as I did:

• The offering wasn't pushed.  In fact, they used to say that if you were in need you could reach in and grab some cash to get you through.  Now I do understand that they no longer allow this because people are putting their credit card information on the "connectvelopes" (Oh hell....I just can't with that one.)  Reasonable but another reason it's not the place it used to be.

• SHED.  This was a challenge to get your personal possessions down to 100 items.  You were allowed to determine what that meant to you and your family, but the idea was to get rid of clutter and ultimately give the excess to others.  The Crossing did this as a church and sermons were preached on it.  I'm a natural giver so I was all over this.  My entire family "shed" a full truck and trailer's worth of stuff.  We were told there would be a semi at the church that day to give the items (there wasn't - the whole thing was a cluster-fuck) but we were still able to give to a local charity.  It felt like something Jesus would do.  How are those 100 items Eric & Kelly?

• There was a sense of community.  You could speak to the pastors, any of them, on a one-on-one basis.  They knew your name.  They seemed to care.  They were actual humans and not faces on a highway billboard.

• It was fun.  Now I know the super legalists freaked out about their "worship" and giving sermons with practical application instead of "unpacking scripture", but it was helpful.  You wanted to go back.  For someone who has had a bible shoved down their throat from birth, it was a breath of fresh air.

Take a look at yourselves Crossing.  Think back to when you first started and compare it to today; are things better?  Has anyone really been saved?  Yes, you've "dunked" many but what happened to them after they dried off?  Can you chill your enormous egos for one damn moment to see the damage you've caused?  I hope you can.  I truly do.

Cabin Services at The Crossing Church

Can't make it to the week end services?  Have no worries...The Crossing Church now has "Cabin Services" on Wednesday nights!  So why would they need to do this if you can always hear the talks online later?

MONEY

The entire reason for these Cabin Services is because when you are not there on the week end you don't tithe, so this is their tricky way of making sure they get your money.

Have you noticed how often tithing (money) is spoken about at The Crossing Church?  They weave it into everything to inundate you with the same message so you'll feel you have to give.  It's manipulation and it's wrong.

Do you think I'm wrong?  Ask them.  Ask them point blank if the Cabin Services are to get more money.  Ask all the hard questions that are eating at you.  Ask about the concerns you have with the church that you are afraid to talk about.  Ask yourself why you are afraid to speak.

You can leave The Crossing Church

Does something feel off to you but you can't put your finger on it?  Well it's because a lot is wrong.  

Are you afraid to ask questions?  Why would that be?  Ask for detailed financial reports, ask about the WCCO news reports, ask about the blogs...and see what happens.

Are you scared to say "no" to their requests to serve more?  To give more?

Are you being asked to act with Radical Faith per their code; and you don't want to?  You don't have to.

What happens when you attempt to say "no"?  Are you shamed?  Blamed?  Even threatened?

You can leave The Crossing Church.  Really, you can.  You are not under their authority.  God isn't going to punish you.  You can leave.

Join us in the Back Alley....it's nice...you can breathe again.

Christmas Dreams at The Crossing Church

I just listened to "Christmas Dreams", weeks 1 & 2, by The Crossing Church, and I was reminded of my last Christmas there back in December of 2010. As I walked into the auditorium I noticed I'd lost the diamond to my wedding ring. I scrambled looking under chairs but couldn't find it. We were being told to move along to get others in, and clearly my issue was of no concern. I held back tears, and stuffed down emotions, because I felt bad that I was concerned over a material possession when I was supposed to be worried about people going to hell. That moment felt ominous. It was like I knew the end was coming in some way. The next year I went all in; money, serving, begging and pleading for God's will. By June of 2011 everything exploded, I saw them for who they really were, and I left.

Some key points from week 1:

• Mary had a willing hear to do the hard stuff.  “Do you?”

• Your story will never be included if you’re not willing to do ‘whatever’.

• Why would God even bother to talk, if he already knows you’re not willing to listen?

• In what area of your life has your heart become unwilling? 

• He will shine favor in the darkest places of your life but you must be willing…

• He searches every thought and understands every thought we have.

• The reason why you lost the joy of your salvation is because it’s not tied to a willing spirit.

• (fake tears around 35:30)

Bottom line: IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!

At they end they had everyone take a Christmas dreams card from the back of chair.  You were to admit how you haven't been willing in some way to do all God wants.  (Assumption that you aren't giving your all.  This is always the fall back at church when your life isn't thriving...you're doing something wrong."  You were to write “I have had an unwilling heart about_______” and get up out of your seat, and set the paper on the stage up front.”  (Churches love making you make a public display of yourself.  They call it accountability and not the public shaming that it really is.)

Some key points from week 2:

• A god given dream is about advancing Jesus, not advancing self

   “It’s our role on planet earth to make Jesus look good!”
• God put you on earth to advance him
• every time an interruption happens, it’s an inconvenience or an introduction to something better (really?  Every time, huh?)
• "so I pray they get a job, and after they get the job we don't see them anymore, the job wasn't a dream, it was a temptation!" 
• "can you please give me a raise so I can tithe less"  
• power couple for Jesus (Eric & Kelly Dykstra)
• willing heart to do all the hard stuff God asks us to do

So this sermon went on incessantly about not having your own dreams but only God's dreams.  Yet...the Dykstra's are sure thriving and living their dreams! Travel!  Luxury shoes! (Yes, the infamous Louboutins make another appearance.) Vacations!  It's interesting that though they preach on God providing increase; we're only seeing the Dykstra's increasing.  Are their staff buying new homes?  New cars?  Taking long international vacations?  

I found both sermons to be total bullshit and another way to manipulate people to give to them.  "Do _____ and God will _____."  No, he won't.  I was obedient. I did tithe.  I did give.  I did serve.  I was fucking willing.  Nothing happened.

The Crossing Church - Playing on Fear and Greed for Cash

Anything new happening at The Crossing Church?  Same regurgitated bullshit?  Yep, pretty much. 

Play on what people want to hear, expose their fears and promise them everything will work out.  It's what we all want: a guarantee.  We want to be assured that we won't get sick and die too soon.  We want to believe our families and loved ones will always be safe and secure.  We want a safety net from all the worries about money.  

Everyone is scared whether they admit it or not.  Of course due to past experience, some are much more frightened than others.  But no one has the "peace that passes all understanding".  This is why people pray like maniacs, fast, tithe and submit themselves to controlling church leadership.  If I do ___ then I'll get ____.  As long as I pray the prayer of ___ then nothing bad will happen.  

Bad happens.  Bad happens all the time.  Bad happens all the time to good people.  What then?  Oh that means that you're being tested, or strengthened, or God thinks you can handle it. (cough cough)  

A few doozies from Pastor Eric Dykstra's "Big Ask Series":

25:27 – when you open the door to him he ALWAYS comes through

30:40 – as you begin to pray, he will begin to respond

31:30 – God will speak as clearly as a text message if you will talk to him

32:20 – you guys have Caribou coffee in the lobby, however in MY OFFICE we serve Starbucks, because I LIKE Starbucks  (...said the raging narcissist) 

36:14 – if you go out and pray in the moment you will have supernatural peace

36:46 – you've never prayed a prayer where nothing has happened...when you pray something always changes...every time.  (Nope.)

So when you're praying for your uncle to stop molesting you and he doesn't, then God changes your heart.  When you pray for a healthy baby and you have a stillborn, God changes your heart.  When you pray for financial help and you become homeless, God changes your heart.  Gee....see any possible error in this idea?  See how this might really hurt people who have been fucked by life?

I'm begging you Crossing, and all prosperity churches, stop using the people of your congregation for your gain.  Stop using people's fear to fund your vacations and new homes.  You are hurting people and one day you will pay dearly.  I ask you, I plead with you, to stop.  You aren't doing God's work; this is only for your ego and pocketbook.

Honor at The Crossing Church

I received a notice in my email this week that it was apparently an occasion and I should buy Eric & Kelly Dykstra some flowers for it.  I knew immediately what this was about and why I was receiving it.  In May 2011 The Crossing Church was preaching on submission and honor, and most specifically honoring and submitting to church leaders.  In these sermons it was said that in addition to honor, respect and submission, you should also do something nice for those that have helped you.  In the sermon illustration Pastor Eric Dykstra told how he randomly sent $50 gift cards to various pastors that helped him.  It was clear we were being told to give them gifts as well.  I was angry about it, as I was already giving a ton of money to The Crossing Church, and felt manipulated.  Yet I was all in and trying desperately to do what I felt their God wanted me to do.  I chose to send flowers as somehow this pissed me off a little less and yet I was still giving them the honor they demanded.  Apparently ProFlowers is never going to let me forget this. 

Like clockwork, a new honor series has started again. I took an Imodium and listened.

20:16 "honor God with your wealth" 28:38 authority 29:00 honor your father and mother 31:32 double honor 32:17 not to be treated as common 34:21 honor the HOUSE of God 38:00-38:26 - screaming 42:49 - fake crying 43:29 - "Jesus is hoping and praying you'd bring honor back. We're gonna show up, be on time, care, bring a gift, Do you realize there is not anybody in scripture who showed up for worship and didn't bring a gift?" "sure I'm gonna get on Facebook and Twitter and promote my church" "I'm not gonna apologize for promoting my church"

Big push at the end to come to church and show them the money!! Nothing new.

I've spent four long years calling out The Crossing Church on their bullshit. I did it because I care. I did it because I didn't want to see anyone else used and disposed of without a thought. Yet in recent days I've come to some revelations about how this is honoring myself and does using my time this way honor my goals.  

My blog has helped many leave and give confirmation to their doubts.  My blog has helped me process my time at The Crossing Church. My blog has been a fantastic outlet for my pain and annoyance.  Yet this morning I had a friend tell me "You can't change someone who doesn't see an issue in their actions.."  She's right.  Those still there sucking down the "free grace" kool aid don't want to see the hypocrisy.  If not at The Crossing Church, then they'd soak it in somewhere else.  They really believe they're on an amazing mission from God and this fuels their desire to go all in.  I get that.  I was there too.  

There is a sanskrit saying that goes, "Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu".  The loose translation, "May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."

I know I've helped people find their freedom.  I now choose to be free of you, I'm free of your dogma, I'm free.  It's time to honor myself.

The Missing Sermon(s) at The Crossing Church - Part 2

The Crossing Church had a new sermon series last month called "First".  Well you don't need to be a regular attender to know there will be a big tithe push going on here.  Giving the "first" 10% (or more) of your income was sure to be mentioned at every service.  To validate my theory on this, it seems none of the sermons were posted online.  Curious, isn't it?  They have multiple locations, multiple services, stream live each week and post all their sermons...except none of the "First" series was posted.

Here's a doozie from that series that was tweeted out:

Noah?  Are you kidding me?  NOAH?!  LMAO!  So if you don't give God (The Crossing Church) money then you'll get killed in the next natural disaster!?

This is reminiscent of February 2013 where another sermon on a similar subject never showed up online.  Same time of year too!  And why would that be?  Well it's just before Easter.  Easter is the time of year where churches need to draw in new attenders (money rolls).  The Crossing Church always goes big at Easter as they know many will attend out of guilt.

The Crossing Church - Always Only About Money.  Every single time.

So prove me wrong Crossing people.  What was the sermon about?  Why do you think they aren't posting it?  Ask.  I dare you to ask!

Subtle Manipulation to Get More Money at The Crossing Church

How The Crossing Church uses Subtle Manipulation to Get More Money out of their congregants.

I've been randomly listening to Eric Dykstra's sermons for months now and a theme has happened with each and every one; he's going for the money.  Every sermon, no matter the content, has a punchline of "You must tithe."  "You need to show God you can trust him with your money before he can trust you with bigger things."  "Give more."  "Give more to us."  Now if you're a bible believing person you can easily research that all this forced giving is not biblical at all.  Just Google it.

What I want to address is the ways they are manipulating people's emotions to finance their empire and their own lives.  It's the old formula of: tithe + prayer + doing things right = BLESSINGS!  It's disgusting.  People are desperate.  They want hope, they want guarantees and they want security.  They are told if they just follow this formula, with tithing always pushed the most, that life will work out.  Of course they have their pastors, Eric & Kelly Dykstra, as their grand examples of how if you follow their plan that financial blessings will fall from the heavens.  Because they certainly aren't wanting for anything right?  Big house, new Mustangs sent directly from God because of a special prayer, huge new church building, insanely expensive shoes , fantastic vacations both in the U.S. and overseas.  And then the one with more audacity than can even be stomached: when Kelly prayed that her Starbucks card would always be filled!  WTF?  Yes, you heard that right.  Well of course her Starbucks card is always full as she announced this from the stage so everyone would know to make sure to keep it full for her.  Then she acts like it's some special blessing from God that Starbucks cards are given to her.  Kelly, by going on stage and saying this was your special prayer you then put it in everyone's head a new way to kiss up to you.  That's why you have a full Starbucks card - not God!

I haven't forgotten the time Eric stood on stage, during a sermon on obeying your leaders, and said that if a leader did something for you then you should buy them something.  He gave an example of how he had just sent Bill Cornelius a $50 gift card.  Gee...and how many $50 gift cards did Eric get after that?  You are preaching to these working class, blue collar people and flat out using them for your own financial gain.  It's horrific.

Nobody gets a guarantee in this life.  Nobody.  God, or no God, the good luck is handed out randomly and without warning or by deeds. There are Christians being killed all over the world for their faith.  Children in poverty in Minnesota.  Death, suffering, dying, jobs lost, financial ruin, divorce, disease.  So is this because they weren't tithing?!?!  If they'd just given a church 10% then that would have been their spiritual insurance policy!?! Sure some people are going to profit as with any scenario; just run the numbers.  But what about those who do everything "right" and your formula just doesn't work?  You are ruining lives.  You are breaking hearts.  SHUT UP!  Just stop it!

I hadn't blogged about The Crossing for awhile.  Sure there was more than enough material for many posts but it's the same old shit.  Yet I can't keep quiet about the money manipulation.  Look at who you are really giving to and financing, Crossing attendees.

You are not being persecuted for Jesus, Crossing Church

Just watched the last of The Crossing Church's sermon series "Taste & See".  Though the sermon was preached to the church, it was really just a pep rally to get the congregation to bring more people to church.  (Church growth = $$$)  The Crossing has done everything from outright public shaming to make their people bring more to their church (ex. - putting invite cards on every chair and making everyone stand "before God" to commit to giving them out) to the more subtle ways, such as this sermon.  

Pastor Eric Dykstra went through various ways that people react to hearing the Gospel.  The first he calls Rejection - "the enemy steals some peoples' understanding".  "It's not that they don't understand - The Evil One STOLE their ability to understand."  - referencing 2 Corinthians 4:4.  So if I don't believe like you, with your interpretation, then Satan has confused me?  

He goes on to say that, "You can't convince anyone to believe.  It's the Holy Spirit's job."  "they don't have deep roots - they fall away as soon as they have problems" "we stay in faith and grow past our problems"  "they tithed once" "you stay in faith until you see it"  So if someone's faith dies, then why didn't the Holy Spirit kick in and help?  Provide comfort?  This doesn't make any sense at all.  So what happened to me?  Because I did believe.  I did.  I was baptized twice.  I gave, gave and gave some more. I was "in the faith" for decades.  

The real fun comes at minute 26.  "Persecution usually looks like false accusation, slander, mockery or lying...."  Oh hell, you aren't being persecuted for Jesus.  I am mocking you because of the dumb ass things you say that hurt people.  Big difference.  Oh and your reference to the End Times was hysterical.  

Yes, I did get "the life sucker punched out of them"...by you Crossing Church. 

So he says at the beginning that the Holy Spirit is in charge of bringing people to Jesus.  Not you.  You're off the hook.  Yeah!  Then the best scripture twisting moment is at minute 42.  "those who believe produce fruit - do you have any?" "your life is going to lead someone to Jesus...you've gotta keep saying the Gospel until someone comes to FAITH!!!!"  At minute 46:20 he says that  "you're gonna be the one to do it".  Minute 44 "you get to do this church!!"  Um, no.  Producing fruit has to do with the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, kindness, etc...  People coming to Jesus is not a test of your faith and it's so sad to think how many in that Crossing Church audience felt the shame of that ridiculous statement.

It's the same old song and dance.  The Crossing Church is once again putting the weight of the world on the shoulders of those who attend.  As I've said before, Big Give expectation will be soon.

You're invited to The Crossing Church!

You're invited to The Crossing Church!  Did you receive an invite card?  If you haven't, then be ready!  It's coming up on National Back to Church Week End.  This is the week end where churches try to get people (those bringing in the money) back from Summer vacation and into church.  Churches will have special events to entice people to come, maybe some food, possibly a bouncy house for the kids.  The Crossing Church uses its members to do hard core marketing through inviting others to church using invitation cards.

These are a few cards from previous years and their latest attempt is no exception.  As indicated in this tweet below, they are giving the Crossing people cards with the expectation to hand out and invite.  

I asked my son, who was 11 years old at the time, how he felt about the invite cards.  "I felt I didn't have a choice.  In addition to handing out cards to invite to church, I also was told we had to invite to youth group.  They even threatened us saying that if more people weren't coming we couldn't have the youth group.  Even though I could tell something wasn't right with what I was doing, the way they placed this obligation before us, it made it my main goal.  I had the weight of the world on my shoulders passing out those cards.  I felt I wasn't doing it right because sometimes I left it on a teacher's desk or slipped it in a locker and was too nervous to say it face to face.  The Crossing made it clear that I was risking people going to hell if I didn't invite them to church.  No matter how hard you invited it was never enough.  There would be a new stack of cards the next week and you had to start it all again."

The premise is that it was your fault if your friends and family went to hell if you did not want to invite them to church.  You're told you should want to do this.  But what if you didn't want to invite anyone?  What if you're shy?  Introverted?  Or simply didn't feel this was the best way to reach people?  The shaming was horrific.  Examples were made of those who got large numbers of people to attend.  Staff members were given quotas which they had to meet.  Glares of disgust were given to those who didn't stand up in church to say they would pass out all the invite cards on their chair.  INVITE! INVITE! INVITE!

I have to ask you Crossing Church; how big is your God?  Your loving God would allow his children to burn in hell just because someone didn't pass out an invite card?  Gee...not much grace on tap here.

Bottom line: more people coming = more money coming in.  This isn't a community of believers; it's business.

Crossing Church Grand Opening - Can they move past their previous abuses?

It's a matter of hours until The Crossing Church begins their grand opening of their multi-million dollar new building.  Their "leaders" are poised and ready for the troubled, naive and clueless to wander through the new doors with their wallets open in hopes of getting a little "favor" or "blessings" from God.  What most of these people don't realize is The Crossing Church's history and their failure to right the wrongs of their troubled past.

Churches are run by humans and any good Christian will take a lot of effort to shame anyone that speaks out against pain and suffering caused by the church.  We spoke out anyway.  We were belittled, demeaned and even threatened to shut up but we didn't.  We were told we were: bitter, confused, stopping people from meeting Jesus, needed to forgive and heartless.  We told our many stories of manipulation, betrayal, hurt and disposal.

There was an apology, to me, though I'm not really the one that needed it.  To put it bluntly, I do not see how The Crossing Church, and specifically Eric and Kelly Dyskstra, can stand on that stage bellowing about grace and not make amends for the immense damage they did to human lives. It's unfathomable yet it goes on.

I've said it before and I'll reiterate it one more time: Eric, Kelly and The Crossing - if you make amends for what you've done then I will shut up.  Admit it.  Stop covering up.  Humble yourselves.  Let go of your insanely large egos for just a moment and be sorry.  You wonder why people call you a cult?  This is why!!

I'm Offended!!!

The Crossing is doing a new series called "Random" and random really is the perfect description for it.  (No offense.)  It's whatever God is talking to them about.  The entire premise that the sermons are coming straight from God's mouth to their ears/thoughts/whatever puts an implied level of authority and closeness to God.  It's subtle but powerful.  

I could say quite a bit about this but my focus is instead of some specific statements made during this sermon.  

Random Sermon

Minute 36:25 - "A couple years ago there were some people who were INTENT on hurting Eric and I and this church.  
Minute 36:50 - "Change where we needed God to change us."  What exactly did you change?
Minute 37:04 - "Something funky got in there."  Yes something funky indeed...your actions!!!

Kelly, lets be clear as to why people spoke out against your church.  

• A mother was trying to save her son after your reckless comments and authority trip caused him to leave his family, get married hastily and leave college.  Here is her story: One Mother's Journey 
• You were kicking people out of your church, ruining lives and acting like a cult.  Another story: Open Letter to Eric Dykstra
• You were so focused on church growth and yourselves that people were treated like they were disposable. Another story:Keeping the Faith
• You were forcing submission, insane amounts of tithing and promoting fear.  WCCO news report: Community in Elk River Discusses Controversial Church
• You wouldn't take accountability for anything.  WCCO news report: Pastor Addresses Controversy
• You were allowing abusive leadership to lie and hurt others. My Story Though I will give you credit for admitting this and asking for forgiveness, you still haven't apologized to the person you kicked out due to your leader's lies about her.  

Minute 37:19 - "As I drive to work everyday there is a street sign that is the name of one of the people that set out to hurt me..." 

Is this the street you're seeing?  She wasn't trying to hurt you Kelly.  She was trying to save her son!

Again, no one was trying to hurt you.  There was a time I would have said you were my friend; though I see that thought was clearly delusional.  As I said in my first blog post - I would have come back in a second had you simply admitted wrong.  

Let me be succinct here: you still need to admit to what you did that was wrong.  Admit it.  Own it.  Be accountable.  

Why do I care?

I've been asked many times over the past year "Why do you care?!"  I care deeply and I doubt even those closest to me and my story understand the full depth of why I continue to call out spiritual abuse.  I will use this post to reveal a few things and hopefully bring better understanding to why I do what I do.

On my last post I spoke about my feelings on Eric Dykstra asking to meet with me and my reasons for declining the meeting.  Since that time I did meet face to face with him.  It was a good  meeting.  Eric humbly apologized to me after finding out that my story was true.  I appreciate that he went out of his way to say this to me when he could have easily let it go since I'd been gone so long.  My husband and I agreed that as far as our story with the Crossing Church goes, we've received all that's possible; a true apology.

So why not shut the blog down?  Because my fight was never for me.  My fight was for the mother that lost her son, those kicked out and those that were broken.  I left the Crossing Church of my own free will so I don't have a story of being kicked out.  I left with my child and still have my family intact.  I do have a story that wounded me but I have closure on that now.  While I hope that the spiritual abuse has stopped there won't be full closure on this until all those hurt receive the amends they so rightly deserve.  

So what is Spiritual Abuse? "Spiritual Abuse occurs when a leader, church or a belief system, whether well intentioned or not, dominates, manipulates or castigates individuals through fear tactics, mind control, or some other psychological or emotional abuse."  It can be hard to spot.  Many times the individual doesn't know they are fearful and feels they are making all decisions from their own free will.  It can be easy to ignore, especially in church settings, where we are taught to forgive, to let things go and to assume the best in people.  

I was a pastor's kid and saw Christians using abuse and manipulation my entire life.  When I had personal doubts I've been told everything from "Well maybe you aren't a real Christian" to "Maybe you need to accept Jesus into your heart again'.  I witnessed the bible being used to belittle, manipulate and hurt people.  My own mother was excommunicated and the entire church, the loving Christian family, turned their backs on us.  

Anyone getting kicked out of a church matters to me.

Anyone getting hurt by another's misuse of the bible matters to me.

Anyone losing their child, due to a church's interference in a  young life, matters to me.

Anyone ignored, broken and abandoned by a church matters to me.  

So I won't shut up.  I will continue to call out injustice.  

It feels great to have nothing to fear.  I wish this peace on everyone.