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Sunday, May 24, 2015

Honor at The Crossing Church

I received a notice in my email this week that it was apparently an occasion and I should buy Eric & Kelly Dykstra some flowers for it.  I knew immediately what this was about and why I was receiving it.  In May 2011 The Crossing Church was preaching on submission and honor, and most specifically honoring and submitting to church leaders.  In these sermons it was said that in addition to honor, respect and submission, you should also do something nice for those that have helped you.  In the sermon illustration Pastor Eric Dykstra told how he randomly sent $50 gift cards to various pastors that helped him.  It was clear we were being told to give them gifts as well.  I was angry about it, as I was already giving a ton of money to The Crossing Church, and felt manipulated.  Yet I was all in and trying desperately to do what I felt their God wanted me to do.  I chose to send flowers as somehow this pissed me off a little less and yet I was still giving them the honor they demanded.  Apparently ProFlowers is never going to let me forget this. 

Like clockwork, a new honor series has started again. I took an Imodium and listened.

20:16 "honor God with your wealth" 28:38 authority 29:00 honor your father and mother 31:32 double honor 32:17 not to be treated as common 34:21 honor the HOUSE of God 38:00-38:26 - screaming 42:49 - fake crying 43:29 - "Jesus is hoping and praying you'd bring honor back. We're gonna show up, be on time, care, bring a gift, Do you realize there is not anybody in scripture who showed up for worship and didn't bring a gift?" "sure I'm gonna get on Facebook and Twitter and promote my church" "I'm not gonna apologize for promoting my church"
Big push at the end to come to church and show them the money!! Nothing new.
I've spent four long years calling out The Crossing Church on their bullshit. I did it because I care. I did it because I didn't want to see anyone else used and disposed of without a thought. Yet in recent days I've come to some revelations about how this is honoring myself and does using my time this way honor my goals.  

My blog has helped many leave and give confirmation to their doubts.  My blog has helped me process my time at The Crossing Church. My blog has been a fantastic outlet for my pain and annoyance.  Yet this morning I had a friend tell me "You can't change someone who doesn't see an issue in their actions.."  She's right.  Those still there sucking down the "free grace" kool aid don't want to see the hypocrisy.  If not at The Crossing Church, then they'd soak it in somewhere else.  They really believe they're on an amazing mission from God and this fuels their desire to go all in.  I get that.  I was there too.  

There is a sanskrit saying that goes, "Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu".  The loose translation, "May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."

I know I've helped people find their freedom.  I now choose to be free of you, I'm free of your dogma, I'm free.  It's time to honor myself.