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Monday, January 28, 2013

Why do I care?

I've been asked many times over the past year "Why do you care?!"  I care deeply and I doubt even those closest to me and my story understand the full depth of why I continue to call out spiritual abuse.  I will use this post to reveal a few things and hopefully bring better understanding to why I do what I do.

On my last post I spoke about my feelings on Eric Dykstra asking to meet with me and my reasons for declining the meeting.  Since that time I did meet face to face with him.  It was a good  meeting.  Eric humbly apologized to me after finding out that my story was true.  I appreciate that he went out of his way to say this to me when he could have easily let it go since I'd been gone so long.  My husband and I agreed that as far as our story with the Crossing Church goes, we've received all that's possible; a true apology.

So why not shut the blog down?  Because my fight was never for me.  My fight was for the mother that lost her son, those kicked out and those that were broken.  I left the Crossing Church of my own free will so I don't have a story of being kicked out.  I left with my child and still have my family intact.  I do have a story that wounded me but I have closure on that now.  While I hope that the spiritual abuse has stopped there won't be full closure on this until all those hurt receive the amends they so rightly deserve.  

So what is Spiritual Abuse? "Spiritual Abuse occurs when a leader, church or a belief system, whether well intentioned or not, dominates, manipulates or castigates individuals through fear tactics, mind control, or some other psychological or emotional abuse."  It can be hard to spot.  Many times the individual doesn't know they are fearful and feels they are making all decisions from their own free will.  It can be easy to ignore, especially in church settings, where we are taught to forgive, to let things go and to assume the best in people.  

I was a pastor's kid and saw Christians using abuse and manipulation my entire life.  When I had personal doubts I've been told everything from "Well maybe you aren't a real Christian" to "Maybe you need to accept Jesus into your heart again'.  I witnessed the bible being used to belittle, manipulate and hurt people.  My own mother was excommunicated and the entire church, the loving Christian family, turned their backs on us.  

Anyone getting kicked out of a church matters to me.
Anyone getting hurt by another's misuse of the bible matters to me.
Anyone losing their child, due to a church's interference in a  young life, matters to me.
Anyone ignored, broken and abandoned by a church matters to me.  

So I won't shut up.  I will continue to call out injustice.  

It feels great to have nothing to fear.  I wish this peace on everyone.