I'm Offended!!!

The Crossing is doing a new series called "Random" and random really is the perfect description for it.  (No offense.)  It's whatever God is talking to them about.  The entire premise that the sermons are coming straight from God's mouth to their ears/thoughts/whatever puts an implied level of authority and closeness to God.  It's subtle but powerful.  

I could say quite a bit about this but my focus is instead of some specific statements made during this sermon.  

Random Sermon

Minute 36:25 - "A couple years ago there were some people who were INTENT on hurting Eric and I and this church.  
Minute 36:50 - "Change where we needed God to change us."  What exactly did you change?
Minute 37:04 - "Something funky got in there."  Yes something funky indeed...your actions!!!

Kelly, lets be clear as to why people spoke out against your church.  

• A mother was trying to save her son after your reckless comments and authority trip caused him to leave his family, get married hastily and leave college.  Here is her story: One Mother's Journey 
• You were kicking people out of your church, ruining lives and acting like a cult.  Another story: Open Letter to Eric Dykstra
• You were so focused on church growth and yourselves that people were treated like they were disposable. Another story:Keeping the Faith
• You were forcing submission, insane amounts of tithing and promoting fear.  WCCO news report: Community in Elk River Discusses Controversial Church
• You wouldn't take accountability for anything.  WCCO news report: Pastor Addresses Controversy
• You were allowing abusive leadership to lie and hurt others. My Story Though I will give you credit for admitting this and asking for forgiveness, you still haven't apologized to the person you kicked out due to your leader's lies about her.  

Minute 37:19 - "As I drive to work everyday there is a street sign that is the name of one of the people that set out to hurt me..." 

Is this the street you're seeing?  She wasn't trying to hurt you Kelly.  She was trying to save her son!

Again, no one was trying to hurt you.  There was a time I would have said you were my friend; though I see that thought was clearly delusional.  As I said in my first blog post - I would have come back in a second had you simply admitted wrong.  

Let me be succinct here: you still need to admit to what you did that was wrong.  Admit it.  Own it.  Be accountable.  

The New Vision?

We've been told to submit. Told to give sacrificially or people will go to hell.  Told that God has given the Crossing a Vision to be a church of 20,000.  Told that if we were not on board with that vision that we'd be escorted, or kicked, out the back door.

Yet their current Rock Star series has brought about a new twist.  References to leaving your home, friends and family.  Talking of the importance of an education; after telling a young man that wasn't necessary when he had a few months left before getting his degree to join them.  And now the big kicker: the dream must die.  "Why does it seem like we get a dream from God and then it doesn’t come through?"  Letting go of your dream because God has something bigger and better.  "God will give you double for your trouble."  Those are sure nice words but please explain that to the woman holding her dying child in the Sudan.  Tell that to the survivors of the churches bombed in Iraq.  Treating God like the big slot machine in the sky.  'If I put in a lot I'll get a big payout!' 

This congregation gave unbelievable amounts of money.  They were convinced to sell their possessions and cash out their 401K.  Yet it is nearly a year later and there is no sign of a new building.

So what's the new twist?  Asking for even more money?  A new Vision?  Stay alert people and hold onto your checkbooks!

The beginning of the end

I've been on a life long quest for truth.  I was told from childhood that this was easy and all answers were in the bible.  If you had a question just read the bible.  If you needed help the answer was in the bible.  "God said it and I believe it and that settles it for me."  This is all well and good if you take every word literally, don't study the origins, don't look into the authors and choose not to engage in critical thought.  Yet their simplistic answers never worked for me.  Each question brought another question with no real answers. 

I tried for many years to suppress my questions and play the game.  Turn on a proper Christian radio station, read Christian books, slap a fish on your bumper and forgive the pain of the past.  They had a formula: Jesus + Faith + Being Good = Happiness.  The formula didn't work.  When you ask why the formula doesn't work for you this makes people quite unnerved as if there was a flaw in the formula then something bad might happen to them as well.  "You need more faith."  "Do you have unconfessed sin?"  "Have you fasted?" "Have you prayed?  Well how much have you prayed? Did  you pray with someone else?" "God must be testing you."  There was always a well worn cliche or new piece to the puzzle to explain away why your life wasn't like theirs. 

A few years ago I'd had enough of it all and was ready to throw in the towel when a postcard came in the mail telling me about this new, hip church.  The postcard was flashy and creative and peaked my interest.  I thought maybe, just maybe, this could be the place for me.  This was the Crossing Church in Elk River, Minnesota.  I loved the first service there.  The pastor was highly engaging, funny and practical.  For lack of a better word; they seemed cool.  We went to their Christmas Eve service not too long after and I fell in love with the place.  The service was edgy and non-traditional and for the first time in years I was emotionally moved. 

As we continued to go I wanted to get involved.  After a bad experience at our previous church my husband was not happy with this and said "Don't get into it.  If you get involved you'll see what really goes on.  I like the place and don't want to stop liking it."  Those turned out to be quite insightful words in the end.  I didn't listen. 

I went to their Cellar classes, started going to their Celebrate Recovery program and started volunteering.  Each sermon still came down to the Christian formula but I tried to ignore this.  The Crossing felt like my last hope with Christianity.  If this didn't work then I guess I was going to have to burn in hell. 

There were many signs through the years that something wasn't right but I ignored them.  Verses being taken out of context, talk of submission and obeying your leaders, a huge focus on giving to them and the many blessings you'd receive if you did.  I gave and gave with faith that if I gave more, gave sacrificially, gave with a pure heart that life was going to start working out.  Many sermons I left energized and hopeful as I thought that if I just did what I'd been told then this "life change" they preached on would occur. 

A bad and hurtful situation went down with me and a church leader.  Though I'd love to call this woman out by name, and probably should to protect the innocent, I'm choosing not to at this time.  She is a huge issue at the Crossing through spreading gossip, getting people kicked out and not protecting anonymity as she should.  I know full well she's told people all I had told her but I comfort myself knowing she never remembered the details correctly anyway and got it all wrong.  So while many might think they know my secrets all they know is her warped version of them.  My husband encouraged me to go to the lead pastors about this but shortly after a sermon came out called 'I Love My Church' and then a 'Submission' series which both told me in no uncertain terms that there was nowhere to go, no one to talk to and nothing that could be done.  I prayed for her repentance.  I prayed for reconciliation between us.  Nothing happened.

It all came to a head for me in the Spring of 2011.  A lady from the church that I'd met via Facebook was kicked out of the Crossing.  Everything in me said that this had to do with this same abusive church leader and I was right.  I heard her story and she heard mine.  I knew I had to leave.  Very soon after I was told of a blog about a mother who had lost her son to the Crossing.  This was 'One Mother's Journey' which I read with horror.  After all the time, effort and money I couldn't simply walk away so I wrote a letter to the lead pastors.  I received a call back saying that "I expect an amends will be coming your way soon...we love you."  This was the last I heard from them.

Later posts can speak of all that has gone on since then.  I'm left bewildered and battered.  I'm not sure if I would call myself a Christian anymore as I want nothing to do with what is going on in these businesses (churches) today.  I've had it with the cherry picking of verses.  I'm done with having my faith treated like a recipe that I'm missing ingredients for.  I will no longer be a part of a group that damages people the way churches do.  I believe in God, I believe in Jesus and that's about it right now. 

I'll end this first post by saying this: I loved the Crossing and truly want them to stop hurting people.  This blog isn't about being vindictive or bringing on revenge.  It is about my truth.  My truth which I have a right to and will tell.

More information:
http://matthew23chick.blogspot.com/2012/01/sun-is-shining-brightly-today-and.html
http://randalljquick.blogspot.com/
http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2011/11/02/pastor-addresses-controversy-at-the-crossing/