My last Christmas as The Crossing Church was December of 2010. It was a Christmas Eve service, candlelight I believe, and I was stressed as always.
Going to church The Crossing Church as a family was difficult. First, there are people directing you in the parking lot. This is nice and fine if you have a small vehicle. My husband drives a large truck, and without fail there was some 15 year old forcibly directing my husband into a spot that would never fit the truck. My husband would be mad, would ignore the direction (you are supposed to submit to their authority, even if they are idiots, so my nerves would go to high), and park where he wanted. I would be praying the entire time for God, Jesus, someone to please give us a truck-sized spot so we could obey and not get in trouble. Never. Not once.
Next came the seating Nazis. In accordance with Crossing policy (or rather copying what Elevation Church does), people would be seated front to back with no spaces in between. This was to give a feeling of high energy and excitement. Well fuck...my husband has a bad knee and needs to be on an end to straighten his leg. He would ask the seating person kindly to seat him on an end, up front, in back, any end as long as he wasn't cramped in the middle. They would begrudgingly do it but not without a shit ton of shame. But then inevitably they would need to fill more seats and try to force us to the middle. It was a fight every single week and this time was no exception.
I didn't want to obey them, I fully saw my husband's point, but I felt The Crossing was my last hope in trying to do the Christian thing, and felt compliance was the only way I could make it to the other side. As we sat down I was arranging my coat, gloves and purse, and looked down to see the diamond had fallen out of my wedding ring. My eyes welled with tears. In any other place or situation I would have asked for help in looking for it. I would have asked for the lights to be turned on, or asked that people search for it after the service. But I didn't feel I could do that here. We were supposed to be depopulating hell and not worried about material things. I felt I'd be shamed to ask.
Now my diamond wasn't some massive full carat or anything special. It was a chip at best. My husband had proposed on Christmas Eve. We were poor and he used all he had to buy me that ring. It was my chip. Now here we were on Christmas Eve again and it was gone forever. I prayed, "Why? Why?! Am I really not allowed anything? WHY!?!" The silence permeated me.
That was to be the last Christmas Eve in a church for me. I don't miss it. I don't miss a thing.
3 comments:
Getting back my husband after separation was very difficult for me because he went to settle down with another woman, i had two children for him already. I have tried to make contacts with him to come back home yet he refuse, each time i look at his kids i become more sad and i needed him at my side to raise the children together. I was so lucky i finally got the help i needed, i went on a search and i saw Dr Mack contact. People say he is a very powerful spell caster that he can put an end to relationship problem, causes that disturb destiny, he is also good in curing different diseases. He is such a special man gifted with powers and reliable spell caster that have a cure to most problems of life. My husband is back to me and we are living happily as it used to be, Dr Mack have done what i could never have done with my own powers. Here is his email in case you need help too Dr_mack@yahoo.com, text him your Email Address and name on his Mobile number [+]1-307-213-8712
What the fuck does this have to do with my blog!?!?
I was in total despair when I found Dr. Todd. My life was going terrible and I didn't know if I was coming or going. I had just gone through a rough divorce, wasn't making enough money to sustain me and my children, and my 17 year old son had just gone to jail for the first time. When I talked to him, I immediately found a sense of peace. He was very honest with me and I could feel that. He also told me that everything would be okay. After my work began, things began to change. My bills were all caught up, the relationship I was in became much stronger, I was never FLAT broke, and my son was released from jail earlier than we expected!! I also completely got over the failed marriage and began to move on. And, received a better position at my job which will cause an $800 per month increase!! I felt completely comfortable with the work that was being done because I was always encouraged by Dr. Todd. manifestspellcast@gmail.com is the BEST!!!!
Post a Comment