Spiritual Fathers & Mothers at The Crossing Church

Father's day gave us The Crossing's talk on Spiritual Fathers and Mothers.  Teaching from II Timothy 2: 1-2 [You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.] they teach that you need a Spiritual Father or Mother to teach us to be spiritually strong and successful in life.  

"We can’t change you..only the relationship of someone teaching you the word of God.  Who is the  person you invited into your life to speak to your soul?"  

“You need someone to spiritually mentor you in the gospel”

He says earlier in the talk that Jesus/God will give you the words to say to mentor someone else.  He says that it's God doing the changing in people.   "If this doesn't happen for you, the likelihood of you making it is like watching a DVD and trying to fish."  

So God is limited to your ability or willingness to have a Spiritual Mother/Father?!  

If God is doing the changing then isn't God/Jesus really the Spiritual Parent?

We've already seen the outcome of The Crossing's Spiritual Parenting on One Mother's Journey.  

“The mind of Christ is in you.” “He’ll give you the words to say.”  “I’m probably gonna put some of you that are 15 or 16 IN CHARGE of some of you that are 25.  Because they already have more spiritual learning that some of you that are 15.” 

What the hell!?!?   

From Live Science ""The brain of an 18-year-old college freshman is still far from resembling the brain of someone in their mid-twenties," said Craig Bennett, a graduate student who was involved in the new research. "When do we reach adulthood? It might be much later than we traditionally think."  But hey...if Jesus is in you giving you the words then go on and put a 15 year old with a 25 year old....no possible issues at all!

There are two key words I want you to notice: IN CHARGE.  The Crossing Church loves to be in charge, and loves a hierarchy.  In a relationship no one is in charge.  One might have more wisdom but there is still mutual respect and equality.  This has submission issues written all over it.

Now the gist of this is to have a relationship with someone, a mentor, to walk through life with you.  Mentors, guides, teachers and friends are great.  We certainly all need a hand to hold onto.  But can we truly not learn, mature or grow without another person?  "Your spiritual fathers determine your spiritual success."  Spiritual success?  Is this a competition?!

It gets better:  “I know who I’m going to be in the gospel 10 years from now – the guys I hang out with are taking me there.  I know where they've been, what they've accomplished and how they've succeeded. I want their life!!” 

What if Jesus wants you to simply feed the poor in your town (like he actually said)?  What if Jesus wants you to care for an orphan (like he actually said)?  What if Jesus wants you to just love your neighbor and not be trying to achieve fame and fortune (like he actually said)?  

"Always only about Jesus" Crossing Church?  Not by a long shot. 

New format, CR and some amends

It seems the Crossing is mixing it up a bit.  We haven't heard of anyone being kicked out the back door in awhile, not hearing talks of how we should submit to their authority and apparently a recent sermon was even from the bible.  How nice.

So did the Crossing get a wake up call after all the bad press and people speaking out against how they were playing church?  We'd like to hope that, at minimum, they took an honest look at how they were treating people.

This leads us to CR.  CR, according to the Crossing, is Crossing Recovery.  They refer to this as a program they started in 2006 to help the addicted.  CR is there to help you through your "hurts, habits and hang ups".  Sound familiar? It should.  That phrase is from Celebrate Recovery; a program started at Saddleback church in 1991 and it is now in 17,000 churches worldwide.  Yet the Crossing is insinuating this is their own program that they created as they are now having conferences to promote what they have done.

Saddleback does make some allowances for churches incorporating their own style but the issue lies in that the Crossing does not disclose where the true program came from and instead markets it as their own.  When the Crossing began their program in 2006 it was called Celebrate Recovery and utilized all the literature from Saddleback's original format.  As of 2009 they were still promoting it as Celebrate Recovery.  Sometime between late 2009 and early 2010 they changed the name to Crossing Recovery.  Nothing wrong with this but give proper credit where it is due.  True credit belongs solely to Bill W. for creating Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 steps but we also acknowledge Saddleback's contribution of bringing additional biblical backing.

Crossing; simply own up to the real creators.  There will be ample opportunity for you to pat yourselves on the back about something else.

A critical part of the 12 steps is to look at where you still have resentments, own up to your part of those resentments and make amends.  I have to wonder if the Crossing doesn't have some resentments.  Considering any critical comments towards them are deleted from their Facebook page within minutes I'd have to suspect they resent that.  I'm sure there is resentment towards those that spoke out against them.  I'm sure there is resentment towards those that went on the news to say their truth of what happened to them.  So what's your part Crossing?  If you follow the bible, and this 12 step program you claim, then shouldn't you make your side of the street clean?

The beginning of the end

I've been on a life long quest for truth.  I was told from childhood that this was easy and all answers were in the bible.  If you had a question just read the bible.  If you needed help the answer was in the bible.  "God said it and I believe it and that settles it for me."  This is all well and good if you take every word literally, don't study the origins, don't look into the authors and choose not to engage in critical thought.  Yet their simplistic answers never worked for me.  Each question brought another question with no real answers. 

I tried for many years to suppress my questions and play the game.  Turn on a proper Christian radio station, read Christian books, slap a fish on your bumper and forgive the pain of the past.  They had a formula: Jesus + Faith + Being Good = Happiness.  The formula didn't work.  When you ask why the formula doesn't work for you this makes people quite unnerved as if there was a flaw in the formula then something bad might happen to them as well.  "You need more faith."  "Do you have unconfessed sin?"  "Have you fasted?" "Have you prayed?  Well how much have you prayed? Did  you pray with someone else?" "God must be testing you."  There was always a well worn cliche or new piece to the puzzle to explain away why your life wasn't like theirs. 

A few years ago I'd had enough of it all and was ready to throw in the towel when a postcard came in the mail telling me about this new, hip church.  The postcard was flashy and creative and peaked my interest.  I thought maybe, just maybe, this could be the place for me.  This was the Crossing Church in Elk River, Minnesota.  I loved the first service there.  The pastor was highly engaging, funny and practical.  For lack of a better word; they seemed cool.  We went to their Christmas Eve service not too long after and I fell in love with the place.  The service was edgy and non-traditional and for the first time in years I was emotionally moved. 

As we continued to go I wanted to get involved.  After a bad experience at our previous church my husband was not happy with this and said "Don't get into it.  If you get involved you'll see what really goes on.  I like the place and don't want to stop liking it."  Those turned out to be quite insightful words in the end.  I didn't listen. 

I went to their Cellar classes, started going to their Celebrate Recovery program and started volunteering.  Each sermon still came down to the Christian formula but I tried to ignore this.  The Crossing felt like my last hope with Christianity.  If this didn't work then I guess I was going to have to burn in hell. 

There were many signs through the years that something wasn't right but I ignored them.  Verses being taken out of context, talk of submission and obeying your leaders, a huge focus on giving to them and the many blessings you'd receive if you did.  I gave and gave with faith that if I gave more, gave sacrificially, gave with a pure heart that life was going to start working out.  Many sermons I left energized and hopeful as I thought that if I just did what I'd been told then this "life change" they preached on would occur. 

A bad and hurtful situation went down with me and a church leader.  Though I'd love to call this woman out by name, and probably should to protect the innocent, I'm choosing not to at this time.  She is a huge issue at the Crossing through spreading gossip, getting people kicked out and not protecting anonymity as she should.  I know full well she's told people all I had told her but I comfort myself knowing she never remembered the details correctly anyway and got it all wrong.  So while many might think they know my secrets all they know is her warped version of them.  My husband encouraged me to go to the lead pastors about this but shortly after a sermon came out called 'I Love My Church' and then a 'Submission' series which both told me in no uncertain terms that there was nowhere to go, no one to talk to and nothing that could be done.  I prayed for her repentance.  I prayed for reconciliation between us.  Nothing happened.

It all came to a head for me in the Spring of 2011.  A lady from the church that I'd met via Facebook was kicked out of the Crossing.  Everything in me said that this had to do with this same abusive church leader and I was right.  I heard her story and she heard mine.  I knew I had to leave.  Very soon after I was told of a blog about a mother who had lost her son to the Crossing.  This was 'One Mother's Journey' which I read with horror.  After all the time, effort and money I couldn't simply walk away so I wrote a letter to the lead pastors.  I received a call back saying that "I expect an amends will be coming your way soon...we love you."  This was the last I heard from them.

Later posts can speak of all that has gone on since then.  I'm left bewildered and battered.  I'm not sure if I would call myself a Christian anymore as I want nothing to do with what is going on in these businesses (churches) today.  I've had it with the cherry picking of verses.  I'm done with having my faith treated like a recipe that I'm missing ingredients for.  I will no longer be a part of a group that damages people the way churches do.  I believe in God, I believe in Jesus and that's about it right now. 

I'll end this first post by saying this: I loved the Crossing and truly want them to stop hurting people.  This blog isn't about being vindictive or bringing on revenge.  It is about my truth.  My truth which I have a right to and will tell.

More information:
http://matthew23chick.blogspot.com/2012/01/sun-is-shining-brightly-today-and.html
http://randalljquick.blogspot.com/
http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2011/11/02/pastor-addresses-controversy-at-the-crossing/